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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a female roach with a weiner? A transpestite."

"How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production."

"What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend? He dates his other sister."

"In America saying you're the bomb is a compliment but... In Afghanistan it's a question."

"The cops were called... to the local childcare because a kid was resisting a rest. 30 minutes later the cops were called back because of an apparent kid-napping."

"Tom Cruise's nickname in between the sheets Cruise missile."

"2007: OBAMA'S COMIN' FER YER GUNS 2008: comin' 2009: almost 2010: any day 2011: seriously 2012: ok now 2013: i think.. 2014: nope 2015: well"

"I know the word diputserom sounds bad, but its more stupid backwards"

"What's big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table."

"My State of the Union I am from Illinois, but I also lived in Arizona for a while."