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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ? Alistairs in this house are broken !"

"An old Chinese saying: If the dog is barking, you didn't cook it enough."

"Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse... but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom"

"What's green, has 6 legs and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table..."

"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She's been talking nonstop for the last two days now."

"Why wasn't the droid hungry? Because BB8"

"What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months? The fruits of her labor."

"Someone accused my dad of stealing from his job in the roads department... ...I thought it was nothing to worry about but when I got home the signs were everywhere."

"[I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means... [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]"