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Joke of the Day

"""Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing"" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too."

"If you hated really old teak furniture, would you be anti antique teak?"

"I've been trying to stop making that's-what-she-said jokes But it's so hard."

"""Parodies"" or homages or whatever the fuck they are of the ""Got milk?"" ads are worse than AIDS + 9/11 + a 3rd thing you personally hate."

"It's cute to think of a nun saving up her nun allowance and then buying a cross or extra bible or something."

"My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word."

"Q: What do you call a man who marries an old ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!"

"Knock, knock Who's there? Wu Wu who? I wouldn't get too excited sir, I'm here to impound your car."

"Sausage festivals... They're the wurst kind."

"How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? ""Please get out of the swimming pool"""