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Joke of the Day

"It's 4:20 do you know what that means?!? It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done."

"What if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your Facebook password and you had to discover who you were based on your statuses?"

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A: fo drizzle b: fo shizzle C: fo nizzle D: fo bizzle"

"This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf."

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Who is this Rorschach guy.... ... and why does he paint all these pictures of my parents fighting?"

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"GUYS: you need to be nicer to women,if you dont believe me just google ""woman stabs"" and see how many stories come up."

"afraid Alone in my room and and thinking someone is also there lol."

"Why are fish no good at tennis? They don't like to get too close to the net!"