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Joke of the Day

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"You can't run in a campground, you can only ran because it's past tense."

"How well did the sailor do in school? Not bad actually, he got high 'C's."

"Listen, I might be 320 pounds but my doctor says I have the heart of a 20 year old athlete. Thank god he'd signed a donor card."

"Did you hear that joke Ray Rice made? It has a great punchline."

"I asked the offspring how to make BBQ taste better Gotta keep em marinated. ...I'll just leave now."

"Like most pale people I will be occupying the indoors this summer."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the p is silent."

"What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink? Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)"

"What do a 9 volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? You know you don't want to, but eventually you are going to lick them both"