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Joke of the Day
"Sorry, Spiderbro, but I have to tell you... I totally smashed your wife last night."
Next Joke
"What do you get when there is an inconsiderate weather phenomena at an EDM concert in Dubai? Darude Sandstorm."
"ah excellent, an update to this software i use. think i'll select remind me in 4 hours twice a day for the next seven months"
"How do lesbians celebrate special occasions? They eat out."
"[gazes up at moons] [that's right in this tweet there's several moons] [girl kisses me] [that's right in this tweet I am not human garbage]"
"Yo mamma's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones."
"You know what I get off on? Subway platforms."
"Who is a presents favorite quarterback? Tim TeBOW"
"Why did the /r/jokes subscriber cross the road? To shitpost ""DAE hate Trump and Hillary?"""
"Why did the policeman wake up his son? He saw a *kid napping*."