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Joke of the Day

"[gazes up at moons] [that's right in this tweet there's several moons] [girl kisses me] [that's right in this tweet I am not human garbage]"

"Library joke A guy goes to the library and says, ""I want a book on suicide."" The librarian says, ""Fuck you, you won't bring it back!"""

"I buy all my guns from a guy called 'T-Rex' He's a small arms dealer"

"My kid can build an entire city with a stick & a bale of hay in Minecraft but you ask him to load the dishwasher & suddenly he's brain dead"

"I don't always tell Harambe jokes but I'll take a shot at it."

"Kenyan men are the best at long distance relationships."

"Two men walk into a bar (under 10 second joke) Two men walk into a bar.......... See that's weird because if the first guy didn't see it, the second guy should have."

"Damn, girl! Is that a mirror in your pocket?... ...You conceited bitch!"

"I've never used the dust pan I once bought... It's been collecting dust in the closet for years."

"So I entered a race where we had to sprint the length of a 12 inch ruler It was a foot race"