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Joke of the Day
"So /r/cringepics posted something actually cringeworthy."
Next Joke
"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."
"Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry these are things we actually worry about now"
"You can tell I come from a long line of hunters the way I cunningly stalk the rare Totino's Frozen Pizza."
"I always have a note in my pocket that says ""john did it"" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips"
"When the titanic crashed, what were they floating on? An iPhone 7, there was no Jack."
"What do you call too many chickens on a farm? A cluster cluck."
"Just introduced my teen daughter to Monty Python, thus completing my duties as a father. I will now retire to Florida and await grandkids."
"One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm"
"Doctor Doctor my husband smells like fish Poor sole!"