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Joke of the Day

"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."

"A roman centurion walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The barkeeper looks at him and says ""mate, don't you mean a martini?"" The centurio answers ""if i wanted a double i would've ordered it!"""

"How are the Twin Towers and Gender Similar? There used to be two, now it's offensive to talk about."

"HOW MANY LAWYER JOKES ARE THERE? Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the rest are all true."

"An erection is like the theory of relativity. The more you think about it. The harder it gets."

"What did the bra say to the hat? ""I've got these two covered, you go on a head."""

"If a woman gave in very fast it's not because of the man but the men that came before him."

"Q: Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Why did the joke on /r/jokes get removed? [removed]"

"What do you call an Asian woman with a white boyfriend? A sex slave."