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Joke of the Day

"I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please."

"The US Treasury is not going to put a woman on the $10 bill... they're going to put a woman on the new $7.80 bill."

"- ""... He accidentally drank some radioactive milk and became_ - MILKMAN!! - No. He became gravely ill and died. What are you? An idiot?!"""

"billy joel: we didn't start the fire detective: I haven't mentioned a fire billy joel: shit"

"What do you call a woman that doesn't make me a sandwich? An ambulance."

"Honey, I have good news,and bad news Which one do you want to hear first? -Tell me the good news. -You' re gonna become an aunt."

"You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T."

"So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House A guy says ""Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"" The realtor says ""Brochure"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! B-4 ! B-4 who ? B-4 I freeze to death please open this door !"

"You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees"