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Joke of the Day

"GOP threatens to shutdown government unless Obama changes color of skin."

"Tell us a scary story! Ok kids, gather around *holds flashlight up to face And I'll tell you all that is evil *puts wedding tape in VCR"

"Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way."

"Waiter: What dressing would you like on your salad? Me: Ice cream"

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on my organ."

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple will wait until puberty before it comes on a boy's face!"

"Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops."

"I took part in an erection competition over the weekend I made it to the semi's"

"Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years"

"Did you hear about the gay Russian knight? His name was Sergei."