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Joke of the Day

"How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut."

"In other news.... We now have the most attractive First Lady since Marilyn Monroe."

"What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? No Oscar!"

"DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there."

"I masturbate with soap Just thought I'd come clean."

"Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team? A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."

"What's the capital of Greece? 20 euros"

"What's the worst thing about being a black jew? . . You gotta sit in the back of the oven"

"I like my women how I like my weather moist and unstable."

"People who generalize... I would finish the joke, but redditors are smart enough to see where it's going."