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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between raping and rapping? One's mostly done by criminals in shady neighborhoods, and the other is sex without consent."

"My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. ""That time of the month?"" I replied. He's not amused."

"Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then."

"Of course you can be anything you wanna be. That's how delusions work."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Callum ! Callum who ? Callum all black !"

"Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz ""we don't have time to get arrested"" if you're looking for a parenting role model."

"Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter? They get chapped lips"

"Step 1: Walk without rhythm, Step 2: Ride the worm Step 3: Prophet"

"I was going to say a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."