185269

Joke of the Day

"I can only imagine the sorts of crazy, sexy pictures of coffee that people are hiding in those ""private"" instagram accounts."

"Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!"

"If my name was Richard I would become a professional photographer and call my company Dick Pics"

"[Auto-shop class] ""Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor even when it's in a van"" *raises hand* ""Or a truck"" *lowers hand*"

"Remake of Last tango in Paris butter scene What would the actress played by Maria Schneider say to Marlon Brando in the new version of famous butter scene: I can't believe it's not BUTTer !"

"I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him."

"A tweet about the Titanic & speech impediments? Unthinkable."

"just a racist joke do you know why **race of your choice** are so good at triathlon? because they run to get to the public swimming-pool and return home on a bicycle"

"A retard and a Christian walk into a bar.... the Christian says ""do you believe in god?"", and the retard says ""what do I look like? , some kind of retard?"""

"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS ...and then begs you to let me in."