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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a psychologist and a groundskeeper? One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough."

"TIL that condoms have serial numbers. What? Have you never rolled them down that far?"

"No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek."

"My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn"

"When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise"

"I set my phone to airplane mode I lost it two weeks ago and everyone has a different opinion on what happened to it"

"My terrible dinosaur joke... Two dinosaurs are walking across a deserted valley, when one says to the other, ""Do you think we're alone out here? I Spinosaurus."""

"Whats brown and sticky? My poster of rihanna."

"There is no snooze button on a dog that wants to go out for a piss."

"Her: I have a marathon coming. Me: Ooh, which show?"