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Joke of the Day

"[Standing still for a picture] I guess you can say I'm *turns around for a second and the camera goes off* not good at posing for pictures."

"Breakfast musings... A boiled egg is hard to beat."

"Did you hear Italy is joining forces with ISIS? They think the world needs more Italian ISIS"

"Anonymous doesn't hack Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can't use a computer."

"What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time!"

"The label of this bag of roasted peanuts includes a warning that they come from a plant that processes peanuts"

"A black mom has six kids all named Leroy. She tells them apart by their different last names."

"Calm down with that charm bracelet, lady. Every time you move your hand I look around for Santa's sleigh."

"Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside"

"Why did the Egyptian spit out his water? Because it came from the Suez."