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Joke of the Day

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza guy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it."

"I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict."

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up an opened lap top* this is my sound cloud, please check it out"

"Why is everyone complaining about Mayweather? We're only 4 days in and I think it's been just fine"

"How can you waste food when there are starving children in...ew onions."

"How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs."

"My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food."

"Went to a hot dog convention hoping to meet some women but it turned out to be a sausage fest"

"If you miss your ex Steady aim, control breathing, and fire again"

"Some people's decisions are based in fear, others are based in beer."