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Joke of the Day

"He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him."

"I'm not racist! I have a colored TV."

"My girlfriend used to smoke regularly. Then i slowed down and started using lube."

"After realising that I had accidentally eaten my clone, I shat myself."

"What is the difference between Susan Boyle and a aircondtioner? An aircondtior can be hot"

"What do you call a Palestinian women? A Jewish Fuck Bag."

"Sometimes I like to spend my Sunday afternoon being screamed at by a 5 year old for eating the sandwiches I made for her imaginary friend."

"What's long and black? The unemployment line"

"[10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter.."

"When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern."