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Joke of the Day

"Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages. They're calling it Islam'."

"I told the boys at the pub that the first thing I will do if I win the lottery is buy a couple of rounds... of ammunition to keep all you losers away."

"I don't want to seem desperate, so I always wait at least 3 days before I call 911."

"""Haha, you failed."" ""Yeah, so did your dads condom."""

"After Monday and Tuesday Even the calendar says W T F"

"It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard."

"What is white, moody, easy to beat and makes me do stupid stuff? My penis."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Whithers."

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? 9/11"

"Life is too short to have a small breasted dental hygienist."