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Joke of the Day

"A bit cheesy but here goes: There once was a man who used to collect spices from all over the world... now he just doesn't have the thyme."

"Why did the double agent cross the road? Because he never really was on your side."

"I just punched Dwayne Johnson in the ass So I guess I've finally hit rock bottom."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"I don't think anyone would be surprised if Captain Morgan was arrested for Boating Under the Influence."

"Why is it bad for blind people to skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog"

"I heard that ' Call of Duty' has a different name in the Middle East. They call it ""The Sims""."

"My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine's Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so... score?"

"How many Viet Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You don't know? That's right, you *don't* know, because you weren't there, man!"

"What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria? Make way, children."