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Joke of the Day
"I saved time doing yard work by renaming the weeds ""plants"""
Next Joke
"""I'm tired but I'd really love to be exhausted and covered in my own sweat."" - Naps"
"I'm at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to shit faster because it's cold."
"Me: I just stepped in dog shit, isn't that weird? Her: Not really Me: Ok, what if I told you I knew it was there?"
"What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet? Last year's winner of the blonde ""hide and go seek"" contest"
"The first time a woman swallowed my stuff, I was so appreciative that I swallowed her bullshi t for the next two years."
"A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs. I think he might be a Thyme traveller."
"Trump and Pence are so homophobic ... ... they couldn't get a mandate. HAHAHA! A lot of people are going to die in the next 4 years."
"What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies? I don't know; they were speaking Spanish."
"A man gets the words ""I love you"" tattooed to his penis... He then goes home to his wife and his wife tells him: ""honey, stop trying to put words in my mouth."""