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Joke of the Day
"I was disappointed to find out my countertops were linoleum. I guess i took them for granite"
Next Joke
"If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash"
"Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch!"
"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them."
"Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza? It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before its cool."
"What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl? He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed."
"How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice? He won't stop banging at the door."
"The local high school volley ball team was having a game against the police force. It was time for the police to protect and serve."
"If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. *They're normally around 90 degrees.*"
"What do you call someone who stands on the left side of an escalator? A fucking asshole."