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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about dating a black girl? Not having to wait for her downstairs with her father."

"Do you know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"How did Donald Trump lose $916 million? Well he was handed everything in life. Have you seen his hands? Most of what he was gifted slipped right through."

"How to tease a girlfriend if she really wants it My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'"

"My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips."

"Q: Why wouldn't the skeleton jump off the cliff? A: Because it had no guts."

"Pixar has made me feel affection towards rats, bugs, fish, robots, monsters and even cars. The real test would be a movie about coworkers."

"Nothing turns me on more than listening to a woman discussing her diet & what she ate today. Except for everything else in the entire world."

"I once borrowed a pro-life campaigner's laptop. The desktop was filled with accidentally-created New Folder icons."

"Three cheers for rap music. Hip hop... \- Tim Vine"