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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"

"A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood."

"*opens facebook messenger* *sips mtn dew twice* *strokes neckbeard* *begins typing* Sorry abt ur mom dying Tis a shame Btw ur attractive"

"*yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ? Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !"

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth with them after you've used them."

"Why did the droids take so long to complete the Death Star? Because they had bad motivators... Star Wars fans will get this one..."

"Why did the chicken cross the state line? He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!"

"I'm a real Renaissance Woman (riddled with plague)"