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Joke of the Day
"A fly just blew up in my room I'm scared it might be a Jihadi longlegs"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million... When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right"
"Out of embarrassment, I just told a train passenger I'm crying cos my bf dumped me. Real reason is I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack"
"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"
"The woman who first decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize."
"I hate mosquitoes, they're like nature's version of a Jehovah's Witness.........."
"Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare? Because Muslim girls can't go to school"
"Allergy alert: This tweet may contain peanuts."
"All new Hell's Kitchen tonight. Going to get into the spirit by hanging out in the kitchen and scream at my wife while she cooks dinner."
"I told my son about the birds and the bees. He then told me about the postman and my wife."