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Joke of the Day

"""Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."" ""Some, I assume, are good people"""

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"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."
"I always read my wife's Horoscope to see what kind of day I'M going to have."
"Don't mind me. Just over here shaking my phone like a Magic 8-Ball, trying to get the screen to rotate back."
"Rain drop, drop top.... Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped."
"Why did the python return his pants? They were too constricting."
"A man goes to the doctor and says ""I've got a problem, I have 5 penises"" The doctor says ""Woow, how do your pants fit?"", he replies ""like a glove"""
"A German got pulled over by the police in France. Police officer: ""Name?"" German: ""Heinrich Klimt"" Police officer: ""Age?"" German: ""31"" Police officer: ""occupation?"" German: ""No, no. Just visiting"""
"How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse."
"Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus."