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Joke of the Day

"Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche."

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird. Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!"

"Those ""You Are Here"" maps at bus stops are very simple in Detroit. They all just say ""Fucked."""

"Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman."

"The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."

"Baby showers are so weird. It's like ""hey, congrats on having a functional reproductive system""."

"The first time I had sex, I was really scared... I was all alone! --Rodney Dangerfield"

"A man goes to the Doctor for a physical. The doctor says, ""I'm sorry but you are going to need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor says, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"I heard abortion was really a race issue. There is no gray area its all black and white."

"Boss: Where were you on Friday? Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:..."