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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike? Ethiopian."

"I'm gonna insert ""comedian"" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back."

"I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out."

"Why did the vegetables invite the mushroom to their party? They heard he was a fungi"

"Teeth are always in style!"

"The accountant's prayer: Lord help me be more relaxed about insignificant details starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am Eastern Daylight Saving Time."

"Why couldn't the tampon twins get dates? They were both stuck up cunts!"

"Shock me, say something intelligent."

"I went to a record store today. They advertised that they had hard-to-find records nothing was alphabetized."

"If I put on a latex glove and snap it, that's just me flirting"