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Joke of the Day

"""We're halfway there... wow-ohh!! Livin' on a vain hope to which the Universe is indifferent!"" - Athiest Bon Jovi"

"Are there any medium rappers? They're always big or lil"

"I'm not asking questions for that friend anymore. Too embarrassing."

"So glad Facebook has changed the layout again!! Said no one, ever..."

"Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day."

"My sister thinks macadamia nuts is an STD."

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a scottish shepard? One says "" Hey you get off my cloud"", and the other says ""Hey McCloud get off my ewe!"""

"Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards? He's just there so he won't get slimed."

"*christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken"

"Why do the Chinese remember more then everyone else All their memories are in wide screen."