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Joke of the Day

"4/10 Teachers in the UK 'assaulted by pupils' This is terrible... Go for us in assemblies, we're all grouped up. You can't miss!"

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"Remember when only the really cool people were on Twitter? Oh, you weren't here then? Oops, my bad..."

"Why did a anowman send his father to Siberia? Because he wanted frozen pop !"

"What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant? They were both caused by a message from god."

"Are you from the 316? Because you're an stone cold stunner. Edit: Stone not ice Thanks /u/cvillemade"

"Do you know what else are nazis? The other 25 letter of the alphabet."

"Why do animal rights activists hate NASA? Because curiosity killed the cat."

"Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same? Because they have a tutankhamun!"

"Why was the violist standing outside the door? He didn't know when to come in"