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Joke of the Day

"Remember when only the really cool people were on Twitter? Oh, you weren't here then? Oops, my bad..."

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"What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool? Bob."
"Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye."
"Trying to stop my mate to stop using TV remote It's a bit of a joke to piss my mate off. :D apologies if this is a wrong subreddit."
"I like Mitt Romney because he looks like the model in every stock photo of a businessman on a flip phone in 2002."
"How do you confuse a complete idiot ? 32"
"How much does a Human shield cost? One life"
"Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over."
"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."
"How do you get a Baby to Stop crying? You Beat it with a brick"
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