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Joke of the Day

"What 'secret ingredient' do you add to your meals in order to improve the taste? I cumin it."

"""Nothing is certain, except death and taxis."" Don't you mean ""ta-- *gets run over by a cab*"

"What do you call a burial chamber full of Moose? Moosoleum."

"Why'd the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong pair of socks."

"What secret organization does Pinnochio work for? Wooden you like to know?"

"My friend got sent to prison for pulling out 3 people from a burning building Unfortunately, it turned out they were firefighters"

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore"

"Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental."

"SRS bait. How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"The owner of the Regal movie theatre chain has died. Services will be held Tuesday at 1:00, 4:15, 7:30 & 10:30."