184722

Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor my little brother thinks he's a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can't I need to use him to finish my homework."

"Whenever I seductively unbutton my pants, I always maintain full eye contact with the waiter so he knows I want more table bread."

"I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.."

"if you say ""pumpkin spice latte"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl in yoga pants will appear & tell you all her favorite things about fall."

"How to stop a kid from growing up. How do you stop your kids from growing up? Ask Jozsef Barsi."

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"What do you call a tube with a degree? A graduated cylinder."

"My girlfriend wants to be in a long distance relationship, according to this restraining order."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says ""gee it's hot in here"" The other muffin replies ""holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!"""

"How did Darth Vader know what Leah got Luke for Christmas? He felt his presents."