15684

Joke of the Day

"How did Darth Vader know what Leah got Luke for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."

"Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses."

"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."

"I will make a book called Math for dummies and I'll sell 1 for 10 dollars or 2 for 30."

"What's the difference between the bird flu and the the swine flu? For bird flu you need tweetment, for swine flu you need oinkment."

"What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck."

"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"

"A magician was walking down the street .... and he turned into a grocery store"

"I threw a boomerang 6 years ago and it never came back... Now I live in constant fear."