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Joke of the Day
"Jared from subway lost his job the same way he got it. By getting into smaller pants."
Next Joke
"Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say ""when"" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives"
"What's the best machine to impress women at the gym? The ATM"
"What does weed and the Quran have in common? If you burn it you get stoned"
"Girl was towelling her wet pussy, she enjoyed it and started rubbing it vigorously... Until the pussy cried MEOW and ran away. Always be kind to animals..!!"
"My phone died... There won't be any service."
"What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese."
"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"
"Sorry I embarrassed you when I tried to draft Smaug, but I totally misunderstood the concept of a Fantasy football league."
"Thor, upon his mighty steed, approaches his enemy, Thanos. Thanos asks ""Who might you be?"" ""I AM THORRRR!!!"" His horse perks up and says ""Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."""