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Joke of the Day

"This presentation was so boring I slept through most of it. I guess public speaking just isn't my thing."

"Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting."

"The name Corey is short for Coriander. Coreys will try & tell you it's not but they are lying."

"How many pandas does it take to screw in a light bulb? Technically, just two, but it is really hard to get them to breed in captivity."

"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"

"What did one redneck say to the other? If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich."

"how do I tell my boss I don't want to do work anymore but still want money"

"Weekend special: What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible hulk? My zipper"

"My liver's so black, it went to a respected college, got a great job, and made it's family very proud. Weren't expecting that, huh? Racist."

"Never marry a drummer... they beat things for a living."