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Joke of the Day

"I'd brag about my pride... But I'd be lion."

"this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds"

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"I'm 2/3 virgin."

"Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink."

"So Richard Simmons is getting a sex change. Finally going to be a man..."

"If I die before I wake, I pray the lord has ice cream cake."

"What do they call diarrhea at Hogwarts? expellianus!"

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"What do you call a blind german? A not see"