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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"I don't like progeria jokes. They get old fast."

"I employed a new gardener and gave him a list of tasks to do, when I returned he had only done tasks 1,3,5 and 7 on the list. Turns out he's an odd job man."

"Is elliott a lawn mower? He is really gay"

"Women belong in the House ...and the Senate"

"What can you hunt for in the wild as well as in your wallet A couple bucks"

"Why do bakers start working so early in the morning? Because they knead dough."

"I tried telling a joke my friend from Baghdad told me. Unfortunately, Iraqed it."

"Which Disney character is Trump's favorite? WALL-E"

"If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing."