184470

Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"I thought i saw an ocean filled with orange soda It turns out it was just a Fanta-sea"

"A group of programmers painstakingly made a small underground passage, that somehow got smaller if it was used too often. They called it the Carpal Tunnel"

"I'm like a kid. People like me best when I'm quiet or sleeping."

"How do you like your eggs? Over here"

"[2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)"

"Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear? Because Chernobyl fall off."

"What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!"

"I told my sister a joke about the belts. I didn't know if it would hold up"

"How do they cook a turkey in Russia? They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!"