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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number"""

"I wouldn't say I never exercise... Occasionally, my nose runs."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse."

"Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night. One was a salted."

"You are depriving some poor village of its idiot."

"My friend Opie owns a pizza restaurant. Wanna know why it's so successful? Because Opie delivers."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... ... and doesn't"

"I'm going to nap so hard today, my pillow Is going to need a cigarette when I'm done with it"

"I like my girlfriends how I like my wine... 10 years old and locked in a cellar"

"Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator."