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Joke of the Day

"A duck walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender says ""cash or credit ?""... ...the ducks says ""put it on my bill""."

"Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you're looking for a business manager."

"I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere."

"So, two pedophiles are talking... One of them says to the other ""I never really liked racing, I always come in a little behind."""

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"Congratulations to our winner, Todd, who correctly guessed there were ""hella jellybeans"" in the jar."

"There are two types of people in the world: Those that can extrapolate from imperfect data"

"Do I at least get to yell ""Jenga!"" if my life falls apart?"

"Stretching and yawning at the same time might not look so sexy but it looks like you're a Pokemon evolving so that's cool."

"I want to learn how to do 3 things before I die 1.) Learn how to count"