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Joke of the Day

"Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you're looking for a business manager."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"

"Did you hear about the couple who stole a calendar? They both got six months."

"So a proctologist is examining a patient. He pulls an anal thermometer out of his coat to make some notes. Looks at it and says ""Damnit some asshole has my pen!"""

"I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away."

"FYI- Clear plastic bra straps make you look like you're stuffed in a 6-pack ring."

"Why do men want to marry a virgin? To avoid criticism and comparison."

"This joke ends in a non-sequitur... ... I know, I couldn't follow it either."

"There's no crying in baseball! But there is in cryball and you're gonna make it big, kid! Are you smiling? There's no smiling in cryball!"

"I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway."