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Joke of the Day

"If the secret ingredient in Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte was the tears of underprivileged children, white people would still drink it."

"If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites the two feet off my rooster, what do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass."

"*juror stands up to read verdict* ""we find the defendant v handsome and think that he looks great in the grey muscle vest he wore on Monday"""

"May the f... ...orce be equal to mass times acceleration."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero"

"Until you've tried to start a conga line at a funeral, don't tell me about your drinking problem."

"I was working at the orange juice factory But I got canned couldn't concentrate"

"A turtle is crossing the road.... when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies ""I don't know...it all happened so fast!"""

"Why does ""new and improved"" always end up ""expensive and shitty""?"

"What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan? Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light? Kia stoptima"