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Joke of the Day

"What did the fucking zombie say? Crack whores."

"I spent 2 years in rehab for my Phil Collins addiction. I did it against all odds. Just take a look at me now."

"My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help."

"some guy said that I slur a lot when I'm drunk I said no I don't you stupid nigger"

"I once saw a road sign that said, ""Slow Down, Small Children at Play"" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children"

"Minimize vs Close in 2014 In 2080: there were some dumb computer users who thought if they click on 'x' in Skype it will close it."

"How many Psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and another to hold the penis...I mean ladder."

"What is the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver passes a stop sign, the stoner waits for it to turn green."

"After years of cooking, I've found that the best way to prepare brussels sprouts is to throw them away and order pizza."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Feminists can't change anything"