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Joke of the Day

"I once saw a road sign that said, ""Slow Down, Small Children at Play"" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children"

"My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong."

"Why was the hipster sweating? ...He wore a scarf before it was cool."

"I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off."

"What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside? A mushroom."

"What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !"

"I'm so anti-social, my misery loathes company."

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!"

"Miley Cirus' nipple slip at MTV's VMAs"