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Joke of the Day
"Why can't the insecure fish sing well? He's never comfortable in his own scales."
Next Joke
"""fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u"" - a goldfish :("
"How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno, ask the Kids."
"What did the pirate Louis Riel say to the villagers? Yarrrrrrr Metis!"
"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."
"Welcome home, half-empty bottle of diet coke. Meet your family: Salad dressing, expired creamer & mysterious takeout container."
"What Do you call an alligator in a vest? An a investigator."
"I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB"
"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"
"Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill"