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Joke of the Day

"Welcome home, half-empty bottle of diet coke. Meet your family: Salad dressing, expired creamer & mysterious takeout container."

"A train station is where a train stops... A train station is where a train stops, a bus station is where a bus stops, now you know why they call it a work station"

"Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. ~Menstruational Tweet"

"It's 2015. I can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored."

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Learn which drugs are cool rn. You don't wanna be a nerd parent"

"Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs? She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears."

"Bridge is like sex. If you don't have a partner you better have a good hand"

"Golden words by a wise man:""If you want to change the world, do it when you are a bachelor. After marriage, you can't even change a TV channel..."""

"What's the difference between wife and a blue whale? About 10 pounds."

"So.. this pickup line works Knock Knock. Who's there? Sex with. Sex with who? Sex with me!"