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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I recently bought a Great Dane, the smell around our house is absolutely disgusting. Every time he barks I shit myself."

"How come squirrels get a pass to bury whatever they want in the park but the cops go crazy when I try to bury one tiny bloody knife?"

"Uhm, excuse me waiter... I'd like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram."

"Did you like the movie yesterday? How is Jerry doing at school? It's a pity you broke up with Mark, he was OK. ""Do I know you?"" ""I follow you on twitter."""

"My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?"

"How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pig tales."

"what do martial artists eat? kung food edit: the people making additional jokes are my heroes"

"YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... GODZILLA Yo' Mama is so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure."

"If you don't call your spouse ""wonderful"" when you're on a game show, you're legally required to get a divorce at the end of the show."

"Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus"