160627
Joke of the Day
"My wife wants the living room walls to be something neutral. I'm painting Switzerland."
Next Joke
"You know you're ugly when.... it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. (add your own)"
"Not tryin to impress anyone BUT the priest did just say I had the ""body of Christ"" right before he fed me a cracker. Gym has been paying off"
"Stacy wanted to keep our relationship professional That's when I knew she was a prostitute."
"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw"
"*hitler leans in close to the mic* and the next person to question me gets executioned *grammar nazi bites lip*"
"Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It's hard to find them in the snow."
"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"
"My roommate told me my clothes look gay. I told him to have some respect. They just came out of the closet."
"What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married."