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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing Willie Nelson can tell you while giving you a handjob? I'm not Willie Nelson"

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"[Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? ""Ankhesenamun"" - How do you spell that? ""Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"""

"When a woman tels you it's five minutes, then it's five minutes. Don't need to ask her every quarter of an hour."

"Our teacher talks to herself does yours ? Yes but she does't realise it she thinks we're actually listening !"

"My girlfriend told me to ""tread lightly."" So when I ran over her, I drove really slow."

"What do you call a woman who's not wearing underwear? A barracuchi."

"My gym teacher said get in line or ill tip a cow. i asked ""how much money are you gonna tip the cow?"""

"Have to take my son to speech therapy.. Easier done than said"

"People who put a shitload of bumper stickers on the back of their vehicles love to loudly refer to God as a ""she"" in public places."