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Joke of the Day

"A trip to the barbers... That'll put hairs on your chest."

"<a pigeon with a message lands on my arm> NEW ARM WHO DIS"

"What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy? Abort mission!"

"A girl recognised me This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore."

"A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, ""It's my carrion luggage!"""

"What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!"

"My fashion sense has been described as ""They probably won't let you in like that"" and ""Are those your pajamas?"""

"Dead memes are like dead babies They never get old."

"Sorry about your street cred, black guys named Milton."

"You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard."